Saturday, July 30, 2011

Your light is a lamp unto my feet!

Whisper my heart, the cry of my soul

Brush strokes the painter,making me whole.


The life I lay down, the trust I do give

For you my sweet Jesus, I live, I live, I live


Tears splashing down, his beauty the page

The hand of the master,  his colors displayed


The life I lay down, the faith I do give

For you my sweet Jesus, I live, I live, I live


Walking forth boldy, strength rises up

Your word is my light, boldness my cup


The life I lay down, the love I do give

For you my sweet Jesus, I live, I live, I live

My Best Friend!

It is difficult to describe the love and admiration I have for my husband …my best friend!


“For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health”

A vow my husband and I made almost 30 years ago, not realizing at the young age of 22 and 24 exactly what that commitment would mean!

It was August 2002 when life as we had known it was radically changed. I was a wife, mother of 5, and a successful business woman. It was at this time in my life at the young age of 42, that I discovered that I had a rare form of terminal cancer and had only one short year to live! The devastation, fear and hopelessness attempts to cover you like a blanket, these emotions can steal a life! In that numb place my husband came by my side and held me up and encouraged me to fight. Together we decided to “choose life” and even though I was given this death sentence we believe that even when all hope was gone we could hope still.

His response to this life’s journey has been unconditional love. He has taught me by his actions that love is a verb and he has encouraged me daily to not give up.

In the dark of the night I would wake up crying and together we would hold one another as my sweet husband would pray and ask God for supernatural strength that we both so desperately needed. In his arms I would fall asleep again, knowing that everything would be okay!

I was given a glimpse of this unconditional love when after a major surgery that left me in severe pain and in the hospital for 9 days my soul mate had been laying on a cot beside me in a hospital bed, and never leaving my side because he believes no one can care for me quite like he can. We are one and you can no longer tell where one begins and the other ends.

After 5 surgeries I have been left with several scars and with Rick’s sweet encouragement I feel more beautiful than ever! His attitude is that these old wounds are reminders that I am a warrior in this battle and I am not alone. What kind of wonderful man is this?

I have a man that would live by the river in a tent as long as we can be together, he is the strength for me and our children and grandchildren.

I could not have continued to walk this journey if it wasn’t for my husband. This diagnosis made us realize that we truly only have this moment in time and I know God has lovingly handpicked this amazing person in my life as a gift from Him.

My best friend is by my side and together we have fought and continue to fight. Each day we choose life, choose joy, and make the most of the life that we have.

I am a miracle, a miracle of God’s love and grace, a miracle of a husbands love and support, and 9 years later the Doctor’s are baffled……they say I am filled with cancer and should not be alive but I live still!!!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Breath by Breath

Breath by Breath,
You hold out another portion for me to grasp.
Lover of my soul,
Find a place for me to wade deep in the waters of faith and trust.
Light my way,
Dim the voice of hopelessness; it is but a mere vapor of distress.
Mold me into an image of you,
Let nothing bind me to the frailty of this world.
May your strength and power,
Be plentiful for my journey
Daily providing the manna my soul longs for.

In Him,
Jeanie
xo

He is still a God of Miracles!

It has been awhile since I have updated my blog so I thought I would take a few moments and fill you in on what God is up to in my life.


As many of you know I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer on August 18th 2002 and only given one year to live. After 5 surgeries, (my final one being December of 2007) the Doctors basically told us that there was nothing else they could do for me and to enjoy my family for the next few months.

After much prayer and many hours of waiting on the Lord, Rick and I made the decision to continue "living"and serving the Lord and we were given an opportunity to move to Tennessee and be a part of a wonderful ministry called, “Narrowgate” We accepted, retired and loaded up the truck.

Our lives have become a supernatural display of God’s amazing grace and the word that He spoke to me almost nine years ago still rings true more than ever today!

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to Him and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

I have chosen life as God commanded…Jesus helps me to walk in forgiveness, He allows me to see myself as a healthy and whole woman of God and by His grace I devour the word, believing that every word in the bible is mine and has life abundant within it! The word is powerful and a two edged sword!

Oh Jesus talk to me about a sign…wouldn’t that be grand!

I haven’t had a CAT scan, MRI, or X-ray for 2 years. The last one said that the cancer had spread and so I had just asked the Doctor to forego the additional radiation and stop all scans. I will have another when the timing is right and it will bring glory to our Father!

I was driving home the other day and questioning God about this situation. Why after all the healings in the bible was I to walk in healing without evidence? After all, the woman with the issue of blood was instantly healed. The blind man regained his sight after Jesus made the mud solution and placed it on eyes. The lame walk and the lepers are healed, why can I not experience tangible evidence Lord?

My heart began to well up as only it can when my Daddy has a word for me……blessed are those who see and believe but, how more blessed is it to not see and believe! So I settled into the fact that I may just walk this healing out in faith and my moments will become hours and my hours will become days, and my days will become my years!

Oh but God always has a better plan…… He wants us to experience the desire of our hearts in beautiful ways. He  is sure to, make a way when there seems to be no way.

Last week I woke up with terrible stomach pains. They kept getting worse and finally I was rushed to the emergency room. As you can imagine the enemy was really messing with my mind and filling it with lies about my health and how this was it, the end of my life, finished! 

Through the intense pain I kept repeating the Lord’s Prayer and remembering the scripture that said,” I will live and not die and declare the illustrious works of the Lord”.

After being wheeled to X-ray it was determined I had a bowel blockage, totally unrelated to cancer! Praise the Lord but, I had no idea what was to come…..

The Doctor arrived at my room sat down at the foot of the bed and inquired about my health. He asked if I was aware of what was going on in my body? Did I know my diagnosis? I have never seen a more puzzled look on anyone’s face. He asked if I would be willing to be interviewed by an oncologist because they had some questions for me. I quickly agreed.

As she sat down she began to tell us about her long history as an oncologist and the things she had witnessed. She said that she had never ever seen anyone live past one year with the cancer I had. She said it was an outright miracle. Then she asked if I eating the bark off trees? I asked why and she said the bigger miracle is that my tumors are calcifying and dying!!! She was shocked and amazed! What an amazing opportunity to give glory to God and declare His illustrious works! Thank you Jesus for the evidence! God’s perfect timing! He always answers prayer.

I am so thankful for God’s provision and healing power! He is who He says he is and He will do what He says He will do!

God’s heart is full of love and compassion and if you need Him today, please know He is still of God of Manna and miracles. He loves you and He will show Himself faithful in your life. Open your heart and ask Him to come in and become real in your life, you too will experience His life changing power and beautiful miracles designed just for you :)

Love,

Jeanie xo