EXCERPT FROM MY JOURNAL….
May 5, 2001
Only you God have answers to my 1000 questions.
Please hear my cry, I only want to please you
and live out what it is that you have called me to do.
I wait to hear your voice…Please speak Loud…
Did God ever answer…?
Yes, in ways I could not have imagined?
It seems like yesterday in one hand and a hundred years ago in another…
Those 30 seconds, now more than 6 years ago, that literally changed my life and the lives of those that I love and call family.
The phone call…. It’s a rare form of cancer, you have one year to live, rings forever in my ears
The feeling ….. Intense fear, panic and a place of loneliness that is indescribable
(even with 100’s of people at my side).
August 18, 2002 was the day that Jesus began answering the cry of my heart and teaching me about his death and resurrection in a new and exciting way.
The journey of walking with Him since then, has been no less than amazing, he has been teaching me daily how to lay my life down and submit totally to Him.
It is what I had spent 22 years praying for but, never realizing what God would use or how he would go about changing me into His image!
As bread is broken to feed the multitudes in his kingdom, so I also had to be broken before Him in order to live the life he has called me to. The spirit is not broken but, the pieces of me that cling to this world and the pleasures of it. In that broken state we learn to rely and trust totally in him. It is in brokenness that we truly have something of value to share with others. It becomes all about Jesus and nothing about us.
”Manna” was given in the desert for the people to feed and survive on daily. If they began to store up this bread from heaven or covet it for the next day it would mold and spoil. My life is a gift from him and each day I am given “Manna” from heaven to live for Him. It is enough for today and each day I breathe is His breath and I live moment by moment, step by step.
I no longer covet this life for tomorrow or fear that the “Manna” won’t be there for me.
It is His life and by His decision I am here.
“The one who began a good work in you will carry it on until it is completed.” Phil 1:6
Jeanie
xo
1 comment:
Jeanie! I love, love, LOVE your blog! Keep it up! God is so wonderful! I enjoy seeing Him reveal things to people...it's just completely great to know that He talks to each of us! He's a BIG God! Check out my blog sometime if you'd like! I've been so blessed in my life, God's protection has been all around me, so when I lost our babies, I was blindsighted. It hit me so hard, but now because of that experience, I now my God as my healer for my heartache, my comforter when I cry, and my delivere from despair! He's so much more to me now! He's so beautiful! Anyway, I could go on and on...my blog is www.crownofbeautyforashes.blogspot.com! Feel free to check it out sometime! Don't miss my first post, it's my testimony!
Post a Comment